Hey just beware that this post is just me rambling about some stuff.

Everything by everyone.

Some people seem to forget the "everyone" part of that slogan. I have seen some people gatekeep those who joined the site because FNF got popular. So what if they only found out about the site because a game got popular? They got inspired and want to be apart of a community, that's what matters. As long as they don't break any of the site's rules and don't be a total dickhead, they're welcome in my eyes.

I joined this site in 2019, back when I was 12. (Yes underaged I know, I was that kinda kid who lied about that.) I was a very immature lil shit back then, but I have gotten better as a person since then.

I joined this site because of Eddsworld, I'm not gonna deny that. I found the series on YouTube and found out it originated from here and went "Oh yeah, Newgrounds is a site that exists!" I wanted to make my own webshow, and it pretty much started out as an Eddsworld rip off. Now I still do actually want to make this show, but it has evolved from it's original concept so much that I don't even think I can call it Eddsworld inspired anymore.

But I didn't find out about Newgrounds just because of Eddsworld, I knew about it for a long time. That show just only made me remember it existed at all. I remember playing the Castle Crashers demo over and over on my PS3 when I was young. Ah, good times.

I'm not that active on Newgrounds, but I do go on here regularly if that makes any sense. That doesn't change the fact that I'm apart of this community, how active I am, when I joined, or why I joined doesn't change that. Newgrounds is a site I love deeply, it's certainly way better than the shit hole that is YouTube. This site is where I mainly post art publicly. On this site I can talk about the stuff I love, I can talk about stuff I'm working on! Community spirit is what I love about Newgrounds and It's sad to see people get mad at people finding this site again because of Friday Night Funkin, especially as someone who knows exactly what it's like to be excluded for my interests and who I am as a person.

My point it, don't fucking gatekeep who gets to be on Newgrounds or who is a "True Newgrounder"

Don't take everyone part out of Newgrounds.

Everything by Everyone.

the funny number!

So, for most of June progress barely happened. Mainly due to the fact that I was waiting for DDLC+ to come out, but then I found out that it was made in Unity, not RenPy, and went "fuck. i spent barely any time doing anything." I was also pretty unmotivated but now I'm back to working on it!

I only have one character design left to do, and then I have to work on sprites! After I finish the sprites and sort out how to do certain stuff in RenPy, I'll actually start writing the dialogue for the mod!

To note, this is a mod I'm making on the side in my free time. I haven't had this much creativity when it comes to making something in forever, and I really do actually wanna finish this project!

and for a side note: I may be using this mod to vent about my mental well being at points, despite it mostly being a mod meant to be funny. Pretty much, expect to see some depressing shit at some points.

Oh yeah, also thanks for 60 fans!

WHY IS IT SPREADING

Face reveal, kinda.

This ball fucking pisses me off

CONTENT WARNING: THERE IS A MENTION OF SUICIDE IN THIS POST, PLEASE TAKE CAUTION

I'm honestly just dumbfounded. I legit just don't fucking know how I'm gonna put this into words.

There have been times where I've considered abandoning/deleting all my accounts and starting from scratch, new username and everything but I've never gone through with this because of 2 reasons:

1. It would mean that I'd have to abandon the OCs I want to keep which would suck a lot, I'm way too attached to the ones I have to make new ones.
2. I would have to leave all my friends I have met online and attempt to make new ones. I have pretty much no friends irl and I find it pretty hard to make friends in the first place. The people I've met online genuinely actually care, it's the only reason I can get out of bed in the morning because I know that at least SOMEONE at there actually cares about me. Far or near, it's a good feeling.

I have a pretty shitty past online, mainly when I went under the usernames "Skylandersackgirl" and "Professor Sky Kid". (yes my Newgrounds is still called ProfessorSkyKid, I made this account when still going under that handle and haven't been able to change it to Sky Kid is Awesome since I'm not a supporter.)

I've tried to move on from my past online, trying to remind myself "I'm not this person anymore, I have changed a lot" and I'm still not at peace. I have trouble accepting that I used to be a very shitty person, I think anyone would have trouble trying to admit they used to be awful.

And now to what I'd consider the most depressing part of this post.

I haven't told ANYONE about this at all but here it goes... In March, I drew an image of my online persona hanging. I don't know how else to put that without it being pretty harsh and out of nowhere. I drew it as a vent, a lot was going on at the time and yeahhh that's what resulted.

There have been times where I've looked outside my bedroom window and asked to myself "I wonder if I would die from this height if I jumped..." and then have an immediate realisation of why I'm having that thought, just absolute dread.

I have of course never gone through with suicide, mainly because I have dreams of stories I want to create and share online, I have my dream project. There is stuff to appreciate in this world, especially my friends who care about me online, some say that online friends aren't "real" friends but to me, they are real friends and always will be. So to all my friends, thank you for giving me a reason to like something about myself, you guys are the bomb.

I haven't self harmed at all and have no intention of doing so, saying this just so that no one worries.

Despite that: I honestly fucking wish I could just go back to the beginning of my life with what I know now. Back when I was just a carefree child who just liked playing LBP, Skylanders and Minecraft all day. I just wish I didn't take it all for granted, I wish I could of appreciated what I had more. I just want to go back to when my parents were still together, I just wanna go back to when I was able to go outside. But yeah that's never gonna happen, so I guess I'll just have to settle with what I have in the presnet!

I've started to recover from the shit that happened in April, and I'm posting again wooo.

I go by any pronouns now! Finally accepted that I'm a trans guy. (non-binary trans guy to be specific!)

yup it's an update video

So, I'm just gonna put this bluntly.

There's been some drama on Discord and it's been pretty stressful for me. There's also some stuff that's been happening irl but I'm not gonna get into that.

I simply do not know how to handle this drama without fucking things up, I've been seeing things fall apart and I'm lost, I really am. I just want to go back to when none of this shit was happening.

You ever just look at art you made like 2 or 3 weeks ago and be like "WHY DID I EVER THINK THIS WAS NICE TO LOOK AT?"